’ ‘Oh, good Heaven, I’m so sorry!’ Angela commiserated. ‘Again! How terrible.’ It was Dennis’ turn to nod. ‘Wasn’t the best day of my life.’ ‘Well, I should say not!’ she added emphatically. ‘Well, if this tragic event happened fifteen years ago and your insomnia’s just been going on for a couple weeks, they’re probably not related…although anything is possible.’ She drew a little heart at the top of her pad by his name, just to remember to provide him with some much-needed, much-deserved affection—in addition to sleep. ‘And how’s your social life?’ ‘Not very active,’ he said predictably, rubbing his eyes again. ‘I have some friends, and they try to get me to come out with them, go do…whatever, but a lot of times now I can’t locate the energy.’ She nodded once more. ‘Perfectly understood. How about your love life?’ ‘Heh,’ he replied. ‘Let me answer that one this way: what love life?’ ‘Uh-huh. Well, have you been seriously involved with any girls before?’ He tried to think back.. Once inside the house I said “hello!” but there was no answer. It was a large house and I walked through the lobby and then along a corridor looking into rooms as I went but they were empty. Then I heard Mrs Jones’ voice coming from upstairs. Thinking she had heard me call I assumed she was asking me to go upstairs so up I went onto the landing. Suddenly a voice which I recognised as the vicar said in a strained voice;“I won’t do it again mistress! Honest!”Then the sound of a slap and a cry of pain.My heartbeat accelerated and I crept along the corridor, terrified of discovery yet with blazing curiosity urging me on to see what was happening. A door was slightly open and just enough for me to see through the crack into the room. What I saw was Mrs Jones sitting on a chair with a strict expression on her face and a fat hairy arse on her lap. “What’s this eh?” said Mrs Jones. “Oh yes of course. The vicar's best friend. Playboy.”Mrs Jones held a magazine in her hand and flicked through.
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